I’m not racist: Mixed Race Adoption

March 20, 2013 in Domestic Adoption by Stephen Gardner  |  No Comments

I’m not racist: Mixed Race Adoption

I hear this all the time at Parent Match. Parents calling me and telling me the baby they are looking for. She is white. Yes. SHE is WHITE. Then I hear “but I’m not racist.” You don’t have to convince us of anything, you have to convince yourself. There are a thousand reasons for wanting a baby of a certain race and I’ve heard them all.

“Our town is all White, she’d never fit in.”

“Our family wouldn’t accept her, but WE aren’t racist.”

“I don’t know anything about that culture, how would I teach her?”

The reality is the only one who has to be comfortable with your decision is you. Not me. Not your adoption agency. Not your friends. Do you want to parent or do you want to parent a white child?

Recently, I had a similar but much less frequent phone call . Doesn’t matter what race the child is, it only matters that the expectant parents are intelligent. Before you react- think about that. Is it different than saying you only want a White child?

How do you define intelligence? How would you like to measure it? How would an adoption professional measure that on your behalf? It’s not crazy to say that. We all want what we see as most important.

When you make the life altering decision to adopt, make sure you are true to yourself about who you are accepting into your family. The only one you have to live with is yourself.

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