child adoption

How much did she cost?

May 19, 2014 in Domestic Adoption by Stephen Gardner  |  No Comments

One of my most hated questions relating my childrens’ adoptions…. how much did she cost? Baby selling is actually illegal (is this shocking?) and I can promise you that even if it was legal, my husband and I would not participate.Child Adoption

We paid agency fees, attorney fees, orphanage fees, foster parent fees, airline fees and lots of money to our own government but we never paid for our child. The truth is, our adoption fees were a lot of money because a lot of coordination goes into the legal transfer of guardianship of a child. In the 6 years since we’ve brought our son and daughter home adoption costs haven’t risen all that much.
If you are starting the adoption process or just curious, read the report just published by Building Your Family. There really are options for every budget and you’ll see just how each dollar is really spent.

What’s the big idea?

May 7, 2013 in Domestic Adoption by Stephen Gardner  |  No Comments

What’s the big idea?

I have a lot of people question what we do here at Parent Match- how could we possibly match infants, children, teens with adoptive families across agencies?

Doesn’t every agency have a plethora of waiting families?

Doesn’t every infant get a family even before they are born?


And no.

There are so many misconceptions about what happens in the world of domestic adoption today in the United States.  Agencies have decided that now is the time to work together, to match families faster, to give expectant moms exactly the families they are looking for.

Every agency does not have a plethora of families waiting. An agency in a state with a low population may also have very few potential adoptive parents. An agency in a very populous place may have an expectant mom who wants her child to grow up in a rural area- far away from the population of adoptive parents in their mix. In the past seven days Parent Match has helped to place five infants. That meant 6 agencies who had never worked with each other before came together and worked for the good of two families.

Bringing people together for the good of families is what we do. Behind the scenes at Parent Match the computer system does the work. Agencies have already put information about their clients (adoptive and expectant parents) into our system and it then automatically generates specific potential matches based on everyone’s preferences.

So, why the big idea? There are babies to adopt! It doesn’t have to take years! Just ask the families who had the best Mother’s day week ever.


Intervention: An Improved Model for Foster Children

April 8, 2013 in Domestic Adoption by Stephen Gardner  |  No Comments

Intervention: An Improved Model for Foster Children

We celebrate National Adoption Awareness Month in November.  It is a time for adoption celebrations gargantuan and intimate, private and public.  We celebrate the creation, or in many instances, the expansion of forever families through adoption.  However, as a Florida-licensed attorney and champion of adoption for over thirty years, I submit that there should be a calendar-long “all hands on deck” effort to grow adoption, especially in the public sector where there are over 400,000 children in foster care.  While November may get the publicity, the work to grow adoption needs to endure each day of every month.

The traditional method by which many children are placed for adoption relies on a birth parent’s selfless decision.  Yet, for a parent whose child has been removed by the state and placed into protective custody or foster care, that parent often no longer enjoys the right to make a private adoption plan for her child or foster children.  It is as if that parent is labeled not worthy and stripped of the constitutionally protected right to determine her child’s future.  Regrettably, it is a scenario that has played out countless times in the juvenile courts across the United States, and one that prolongs permanency for children.

A positive and emerging change has begun to take root, albeit slowly and unevenly.  In Florida, through a statutory mechanism known as intervention, a parent whose child has been removed by the state retains the right to make a private adoption plan, provided that parent’s parental rights remain intact.  This option allows a parent to consent to a voluntary adoption, select adoptive parents, and receive information about the child in the future.  Contrast this with the inexorably lengthy and expensive process associated with having parental rights involuntarily terminated by a judge, and the parent’s exclusion from any permanent decision-making for the child.

Intervention also accomplishes the laudable goal of removing a child from the state system.  It frees up the juvenile court’s resources to address those cases that desperately need attention. It dramatically decreases and virtually eliminates the substantial public cost attendant to having a child remaining foster care. Most importantly, intervention quickly creates a “forever family” by obtaining the approval of the birth parent. With nearly 50,000 children  remaining in foster care five years or more, there can be no doubt about the benefits for both the children who await adoption and for society as a whole if adoption of children in foster care was made easier, faster, and more frequent.

In working with a legion of dedicated child welfare professionals, I have come to understand one universal truth:  the state does not make a good parent. Developmentally speaking, remaining in state care disadvantages a child, whereas adoption into a “forever family” yields the most positive outcomes and is the place where a child thrives. Moreover, nearly 30,000 children in foster care age out of the system annually with no hope of a permanent family. These children struggle in inordinate numbers with homelessness, lack of education, unemployment, poverty, unwed pregnancy and criminality. These children are our responsibility.

November sees the dawn of new families sewn and grown together by adoption. That effort needs to continue throughout the year, and if a birth parent elects to make the difficult decision to place a child for adoption, the Department of Children and Families and the courts should applaud and honor this choice, and move the child out of state custody to the safe, loving environment of a “forever family.”


Submitted by Guest Blogger,

Jeanne T. Tate,

[email protected]