What’s the big idea?
I have a lot of people question what we do here at Parent Match- how could we possibly match infants, children, teens with adoptive families across agencies?
Doesn’t every agency have a plethora of waiting families?
Doesn’t every infant get a family even before they are born?
There are so many misconceptions about what happens in the world of domestic adoption today in the United States. Agencies have decided that now is the time to work together, to match families faster, to give expectant moms exactly the families they are looking for.
Every agency does not have a plethora of families waiting. An agency in a state with a low population may also have very few potential adoptive parents. An agency in a very populous place may have an expectant mom who wants her child to grow up in a rural area- far away from the population of adoptive parents in their mix. In the past seven days Parent Match has helped to place five infants. That meant 6 agencies who had never worked with each other before came together and worked for the good of two families.
Bringing people together for the good of families is what we do. Behind the scenes at Parent Match the computer system does the work. Agencies have already put information about their clients (adoptive and expectant parents) into our system and it then automatically generates specific potential matches based on everyone’s preferences.
So, why the big idea? There are babies to adopt! It doesn’t have to take years! Just ask the families who had the best Mother’s day week ever.
Recent media surrounding adoption has not been good- most of it focusing on countries closing (http://zeenews.india.com/news/world/33-russian-kids-adoption-still-in-limbo-after-us-ban_833541.html) to the death of an adoption child (http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57569961/death-of-texas-toddler-fuels-russian-governments-anti-adoption-stance/). Unfortunately the most likely bad news adoption scenario is the adoption scam, and it’s also the most common.
What is an adoption scam? Well, it can look like a lot of things. An adoption scam can be an agency, facilitator or attorney who promises you a child and has no intention of giving you one. An adoption scam can be an adoption professional who has great reviews but continues to take your money even though no services have been provided. It might also look like a woman who you’ve met (probably online) who says she’s pregnant (who may not be) who says she wants to relinquish her child to you (and she has no intention of doing so) or who doesn’t exist at all. Usually all of this takes place after a lot of money has changed hands (thus the scam).
How do you know it’s a scam? You’ve heard the saying, “If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck….” Yes, the same applies here. Keep your eyes WIDE open. If something doesn’t feel right- DON’T DO IT. This is particularly difficult when adoption is involved. Your heart is on the line and no matter what your head might be thinking, your heart likely doesn’t care and is ready to take the risk even though it is a huge risk. Someone needs to be level-headed. If you are adopting as a single person, make sure you have someone trusted to bounce things off of and be a source of logical reasoning. If your adoption professional is asking for loads of money upfront, be wary. If your adoption professional charges you to keep you waiting (yes, to keep you waiting), be wary. If you meet a woman online but have never spoken to her on the phone, have difficulty getting in touch with her or she has asked for money right away, be careful!
All of these warnings are not to scare you, but to safeguard you as the prospective adoptive parent. We can all learn something when we open our eyes (not just our hearts!). We will have much more information on adoption scams next Monday, March 18th at 9pm EST on twitter.
Join me and other member of the adoption community including adoption attorneys, birth mothers, and other adoptive parents who have been through a scam to learn from them. Follow the chat (and join in!) on twitter at #adoptionislove