The Baby Wait and other reality TV to real life mysteries….
If you haven’t heard by now the reality TV circuit is buzzing with adoption reality shows. Spurred by the hit MTV series 16 and Pregnant, a slew of new shows are now overloading our airwaves. The Baby Wait in particular follows the journey of pregnant women and the adoptive parents who are hoping to adopt their babies. It goes through the birth and the mandatory 30 day waiting period of revocation in Connecticut. That means that in Connecticut, the biological parents have 30 days to change their minds about the adoption after they have signed the papers. Sometimes the children go home with the would-be adoptive parents, sometimes they go into an interim care situation.
In Kansas they have the same 30 day law. Well they had the same law. This week, lawmakers in Kansas eliminated the 30 day waiting period (http://www.ksallink.com/?cmd=displaystory&story_id=26833&format=html) which means the adoption could theoretically be finalized in the first 24 hours of the baby’s life. Interestingly, the premise for the bill was actually the reality TV show itself and the fact that the waiting was very difficult for the adoptive parents. The adoptive parents it was difficult for? Let’s delve into the minds of the birth-parents or expectant parents for a moment who have now been stripped of even more rights – the ability to revoke their decision even a day after delivery is gone.
I’m an adoptive mom, I know the pain of waiting for your child. I know how many adoptive parents live in fear that their children will be ‘taken back’ after placement. It does happen but it is part of the process. It is heart wrenching but there are good reasons for the revocation periods, which is why they exist. Sometimes it just isn’t about the adoptive parent (sorry, I know this is a touchy subject) but it has to be about the birth mom, especially right after she has the baby. We need to give her more support and more choice, not strip her of those things.
Feel free to vent away below.