Parents share their experiences
As I have been waiting more than twelve months, I have made it through all the major holidays. What worked for me was finding a way to acknowledge my child through some small gesture. Last Christmas, I hung a special ornament for my daughter on the tree, to signify that in my heart she was already my daughter.
–Amy, Chugiak, Alaska
We filed our paperwork with the INS on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. We took the opportunity at Thanksgiving dinner to announce to our extended family that we were officially “pregnant with paperwork” but did not know the “due date” yet. On Christmas, my mom wrapped up presents for each child—special items she’d saved from my childhood for me to pass on to my children. I still cry when I think how much that meant to me!
–Shannon, Bellevue, Washington
The most important thing for us was to stay in a hotel near the house where our extended family was celebrating the holidays. This allowed us to get to festivities quickly, and to leave if being around children became painful. Staying at the hotel gave us a place to process our feelings in private and helped us enjoy our relatives’ kids that much more.
–Bettina, Farmington Hills, Michigan
I have been able to keep it together through all of this waiting, especially at the holidays, by focusing on creating my personal Web site. I update it every month for my family and friends, to satisfy the perpetual question: “Have you heard anything yet?” It sure cuts down on the inquiries at holiday gatherings.
–Lynn, Hazel Crest, Illinois
For our first adoption, we waited through Thanksgiving and Christmas with a referral but no travel date. On Christmas, all the presents we gave were signed from me, my husband, and our son. This made me feel that somehow he was there, even if only in our thoughts and hearts.
––Bess, via e-mail